I Found God!, C.L.

I Found God!, C.L.

I was raised in an atheist family, but I attended Catholic schools for seven years for the academic, not spiritual, benefit. There I lost any interest I might have had in God and instead pursued material things with all my energy. By the Lord's mercy, I found no peace or satisfaction with any of the worldly achievements I worked so hard to obtain. By the Lord's mercy and hand in my environment, in 1996 I came to the point where I realized I needed God. I don't remember exactly when I was saved though I recall trying to pray to God a few times in the midst of a crisis. God was not so real to me until 1996 when I first touched Him in a real way. At that time, I was worn down from dealing with a turbulent relationship with my own self-effort which resulted in total failure. At the same time, there were many other pressing situations which also had reached a climax. Under the weight of all these inward and outward anxieties, at the suggestion of a co-worker, I desperately and sincerely turned to God. For the first time, I experienced the peace of God. Though my outward situation remained the same, inwardly I was different. Inwardly I was free, I was no longer bothered and consumed by all these cares. God became so real and it also became clear that this peace could never be humanly manufactured. From that point I realized my need of God and that He was the unique solution to all my problems. My seeking after God was also not due to any natural zeal but it was just a reaction to seeing this Wonderful One who had been seeking me all along. After this realization I couldn't live my life the same as before and began my quest for the right place to meet, and most of all to know more about God. I moved to California for a job after graduating from college in 1997.

Shortly thereafter, I contacted the local church mainly because my apartment was next door to the church's meeting place. Since 1996, I had been searching for satisfaction and reality in spiritual things. The only way I knew how to get right with God was to “go to church.” So one day I attended their meeting. I did find God but not in a physical building but in the people that were meeting there. These people expressed God in their human lives. I couldn't believe people like this still existed in the world. I was surprised, yet disarmed, by their genuineness and love for the Lord. What they expressed and the way they lived attracted me to begin meeting with the local church. I longed for reality and the Lord faithfully arranged for me to finally find people whom their living matched their teaching and their teaching matched the pure word of God.

They Put Words to My Experiences

When I started reading Watchman Nee and Witness Lee, I was in awe at how much these two faithful brothers really knew God in a most deep and personal way. Everything I read brought me to the Lord and caused me to love Him even more. I knew what they wrote was true, not just because it was according to and confirmed by the Bible but because I had experienced these things myself. They put words to my experiences that I could never explain before.